Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of shooting stars when normally I would see none (I live in Los Angeles, after all).
I know that the usual protocol for seeing shooting stars would be to make a wish, but honestly, I didn’t really wish for anything.
This is not to say that there aren’t things in my life that I want — of course there are many things that I want — I guess I just don’t really believe in wishing… I believe in autonomy.
I believe that the things that occur to us as a direct result of the actions we have consciously and determinedly taken are the events that mean the most to us. This is the kind of life that I prefer to live. A life that I have earned. I am responsible for my own happiness, and I am responsible for my own life. It is not enough to just wish for something to happen; if you have a wish, then make it happen. Things may still not end up the way you may have wanted, but at least you won’t have any regrets that you didn’t go for it. There are so many external considerations that you can’t control, but there is nothing worse than regretting not doing the things that you wish you had done.
Yes, there are situations in my life that are not perfect (they’re rather difficult in some cases), but still I wouldn’t wish for things to be any different, because, had the circumstances been different, things may not have turned out the way that they had.
Take my job, for instance. Several years ago, I was working full-time for an entertainment marketing agency. It was a good company, with good people, and pretty good pay. It wasn’t perfect… my official position wasn’t one that I was all that excited about, I found out that I really didn’t want to be involved in the business world, and I’ve come to realize lately that working in a office setting really isn’t for me.
When the economy crashed, the marketing world was the first to get hit. My company went from an establishment of 7 people, to the CEO and his wife (who became the VP when the VP left as well).
Since leaving that company, I’ve ventured into a plethora of different industries — mostly various part time work to accommodate my training/competition schedule.
Last year, my old company contacted me again. They had been steadily getting back on their feet and their business had grown to the point where they wanted to bring me back to do some freelance work for them. In my new position, I can work from home (on my own hours) doing creative work that actually stimulates me — work that I believe in.
I feel really lucky to have a work arrangement that is pretty ideal for me and my life. I can still travel, train, teach, pursue all my other ventures, and NOT die from my exhausting schedule like I had before.
I know I’m really lucky to have the opportunities that I have, and it took a lot of less-than-ideal (and sometimes stressful) situations to get there, but I am incredibly thankful that things have turned out the way that they have.
And like I said before, there are other situations in my life that are not quite perfect, but they’re still pretty darn good. I’m happy with where I am at, and that’s good enough for me, for now.
We can only live each moment to moment and then see where life takes us… and trust that everything always works out somehow.
The bigger picture may be in the stars, but everything that happens to get me there is in my hands.
